Posts tagged: TT Trembling Tarmac Ltd.

Baby round round (de)

By Dr. Nikolaus Wilson, August 23, 2010 23:46

Banner City Journal Entry No. 8

View this page in English Flag.

Herold, wir haben ein Problem!

Und diese Problem hat einen Namen: Bauer Karl Toffel… oder vielmehr seine Wiese.

Area under review for construction of new roundaboutIn einiger Entfernung nördlich des Dorfes Herold hat ein Bauernmarkt eröffnet, der die Spitzenprodukte örtlicher Landwirtschaft zu Spottpreisen abgibt. Nahezu die gesamte Einwohnerschaft Herolds kauft dort mehrmals die Woche Eier ein, ich meine echte Eier, solche, die noch ein Eigelb haben und nicht nach Fisch schmecken.

Continue reading 'Baby round round (de)'»

Baby round round (en)

By Dr. Nikolaus Wilson, August 23, 2010 23:42

Banner City Journal Entry No. 8

Diese Seite auf German Flag ansehen.

Herold, we have a problem!

And this problem has a name: Farmer Paul Tatoe… or rather his meadow.

Area under review for construction of new roundaboutIn some distance to the north of the village Herold a farmers market has opened which sells the top products of local agriculture at ridiculous prices. Virtually the whole of Herold buys several times the week eggs, I mean real eggs, those which still have yolk and do not taste fishy.

The farmers market in HeroldBut back to topic: The market is to be reached only by using an eastern side street. Because the inhabitants of Herold increasingly dislike this detour, they more and more often go over the meadow of Paul Tatoe which is situated directly between the village and the market. Already a dirt road has developed which is a thorn to Paul Tatoe – particularly because he does not like eggs. The following picture shows the situation being discussed in the city council:

The dirt road to the farmers marketFinally, the city council decided to purchase the meadow and to construct a reasonable street connection. Careful calculations of transport experts had proved that an application of tarmac could save up to 4.5 minutes when purchasing eggs. This corresponds at least to 27 seconds per egg (4-headed family in which every member of the family eats two eggs for breakfast and the cat consumes the two remaining eggs). These calculations called for the TT Trembling Tarmac Ltd, the big guy in the tarmac-business. Overnight the CEO made a model of a one-way roundabout, constructed out of pieces of the model railway of his son. The mayor of GRUNEN who has the same surname as the manager of TT Trembling Tarmac Ltd was inspired. He calculated further savings of 2.3 seconds per egg, should the one-way solution be chosen.

SC4 Tiltshift picture of the planned roundaboutBut TT Trembling Tarmac Ltd was not the only one announcing interest in the project. According to an article in the Boston Daily, the biggest newspaper of Boston v2, about the economical use of the egg-fetching-time calculation Jack Green, the spokesperson of the Wilderness Warriors, an environment protection group from Boston v2, became attentive to the planning . And tarmac, ehy, is stuff from hell! So he wrote a letter to the mayor of GRUNEN strongly arguing in favor of a dirt road:

Letter of the Wilderness Warriors of Boston v2Finally, the city council decided to do without the additional 2.3 seconds of egg-fetching-time savings. This was caused by the great speech of Otto Dumb who explained that a one-way street must be used in one direction only and, therefore, one can go to the market but never come back. The agreed upon planning looks as follows:

Plan of the new SimCity 4 residential releaseClearly can be seen that the city council decided in favor of tarmac. Furthermore, it released new residential areas. Construction was made by… one would have hardly guessed… TT Trembling Tarmac Ltd. There have been other applicants, too. But no, nobody with the same surname as the mayor… makes you think, doesn’t it?

New roundabout and sc4 residential release in all it's gloryThat’s it for today! If you want to comment, please use the small box below. If you have nothing to say, please tell us why not. And shouldn’t we run a world wide egg-fetching-time comparison? Where I live, the average egg-fetching-time amounts to approx. 90 seconds per egg (standard family, car, full tarmac). How about your neighborhood?

Trembling Tarmac

By Dr. Nikolaus Wilson, June 22, 2010 20:34

Logo City Journal Entry 5

Diese Seite auf German Flag ansehen.

Area under Review for City Journal Entry 5

As you all know the Department of Planning Services drafted a Land-Use Plan for the City of GRUNEN. That Plan provided for a main road for the trough traffic. You can have a look at the plan here.

Our honorable mayor pulled some strings, contacted old friends and came up with the idea to apply tarmac to that future main road. Though statistics and traffic projection showed no need for such action for the next ten years. But our honorable mayor solved this minor hindrance by simply adding a “0″ behind every figure of the projection before it was published. (Later he would argue that this was a printing error.)

Eventually tarmac was applied to the streets by “TT Trembling Tarmac Ltd”. Why they call themselfs Trembling Tarmac? Watch those trembling pictures of the tarmac works:

For all of you interested in having a closer look to the tarmac works: click on the pictures below.

Picture of the City of GRUNEN before the tarmac was applied Picture of the City of GRUNEN after the tarmac was applied

Eventually some questions remain unanswered. Why didn’t the city council invite for a bid? Why did the actual construction cost exceed the cost-projection by 67%? And why the heck do the CEO of TT Trembling Tarmac Ldt. and our honorable mayor have the same surname?

Please do comment heavilly and stay tuned for further updates!

Zitternder Asphalt

By Dr. Nikolaus Wilson, June 22, 2010 20:29

Logo City Journal Entry 5

View this page in English Flag .

Area under Review for City Journal Entry 5

Wie Ihr alle wisst, hat die Planungabteilung der Bürgerschaft einen Flächennutzungsplan für die Stadt GRUNEN aufgestellt. Dieser Plan sieht eine Hauptstraße für den Durchgangsverkehr durch das Stadtzentrum vor. Ihr könnt den Flächennutzungsplan hier einsehen.

Unser ehrenhafter Bürgermeister sponn seine Fäden, setzte sich mit alten Freunden in Verbindung und entwickelte die Idee, Asphalt auf die zukünftige Hauptstraße aufzubringen, obwohl Statistiken und Verkehrsbelastungsplanungen kein Bedürfnis für Asphaltierung innerhalb der nächsten zehn Jahren zeigten. Aber unser ehrenhafter Bürgermeister umschiffte dieses kleine Hindernis, indem er einfach eine “0″ hinter jeder Zahl der Belastungsplanung schrieb, bevor sie veröffentlicht wurde. (Später würde er behaupten, dass es ein Druckfehler war.)

Schließlich bekam die “ZA Zitternder Asphalt GmbH” den Auftrag Asphalt auf die traßen aufzubringen. Warum das Unternehmen Zitternder Asphalt heißt? Schaut Euch einfach die folgenden zitternden Bilder der Asphaltierungsarbeiten an:

Für Alle, die Interesse an einem detaillierten Einblick in die Asphaltierungsarbeiten haben wollen: Klickt einfach auf eines der folgenden Bilder.

Bild der Stadt GRUNEN vor der Asphaltierung Bild der Stadt GRUNEN nach der Asphaltierung

Nach der Asphaltierung blieben einige Fragen unbeantwortet. Warum schrieb die Bürgerschaft die Asphaltierungsarbeiten nicht aus? Warum überschritten die tatsächlichen Kosten die Kostenprognose um 67%? Und warum zum Teufel haben der Geschäftsführer der ZA Zitternder Asphalt GmbH und unser ehrenhafter Bürgermeister denselben Nachnamen?

Bitte kommentiert heftig und schaut mal wieder rein. Weitere City Journal Einträge sind in Vorbereitung!

Theme design by Dr. Nikolaus Wilson based on Persephone Theme by Themocracy.