Baby round round (en)

By Dr. Nikolaus Wilson, August 23, 2010 23:42

Banner City Journal Entry No. 8

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Herold, we have a problem!

And this problem has a name: Farmer Paul Tatoe… or rather his meadow.

Area under review for construction of new roundaboutIn some distance to the north of the village Herold a farmers market has opened which sells the top products of local agriculture at ridiculous prices. Virtually the whole of Herold buys several times the week eggs, I mean real eggs, those which still have yolk and do not taste fishy.

The farmers market in HeroldBut back to topic: The market is to be reached only by using an eastern side street. Because the inhabitants of Herold increasingly dislike this detour, they more and more often go over the meadow of Paul Tatoe which is situated directly between the village and the market. Already a dirt road has developed which is a thorn to Paul Tatoe – particularly because he does not like eggs. The following picture shows the situation being discussed in the city council:

The dirt road to the farmers marketFinally, the city council decided to purchase the meadow and to construct a reasonable street connection. Careful calculations of transport experts had proved that an application of tarmac could save up to 4.5 minutes when purchasing eggs. This corresponds at least to 27 seconds per egg (4-headed family in which every member of the family eats two eggs for breakfast and the cat consumes the two remaining eggs). These calculations called for the TT Trembling Tarmac Ltd, the big guy in the tarmac-business. Overnight the CEO made a model of a one-way roundabout, constructed out of pieces of the model railway of his son. The mayor of GRUNEN who has the same surname as the manager of TT Trembling Tarmac Ltd was inspired. He calculated further savings of 2.3 seconds per egg, should the one-way solution be chosen.

SC4 Tiltshift picture of the planned roundaboutBut TT Trembling Tarmac Ltd was not the only one announcing interest in the project. According to an article in the Boston Daily, the biggest newspaper of Boston v2, about the economical use of the egg-fetching-time calculation Jack Green, the spokesperson of the Wilderness Warriors, an environment protection group from Boston v2, became attentive to the planning . And tarmac, ehy, is stuff from hell! So he wrote a letter to the mayor of GRUNEN strongly arguing in favor of a dirt road:

Letter of the Wilderness Warriors of Boston v2Finally, the city council decided to do without the additional 2.3 seconds of egg-fetching-time savings. This was caused by the great speech of Otto Dumb who explained that a one-way street must be used in one direction only and, therefore, one can go to the market but never come back. The agreed upon planning looks as follows:

Plan of the new SimCity 4 residential releaseClearly can be seen that the city council decided in favor of tarmac. Furthermore, it released new residential areas. Construction was made by… one would have hardly guessed… TT Trembling Tarmac Ltd. There have been other applicants, too. But no, nobody with the same surname as the mayor… makes you think, doesn’t it?

New roundabout and sc4 residential release in all it's gloryThat’s it for today! If you want to comment, please use the small box below. If you have nothing to say, please tell us why not. And shouldn’t we run a world wide egg-fetching-time comparison? Where I live, the average egg-fetching-time amounts to approx. 90 seconds per egg (standard family, car, full tarmac). How about your neighborhood?

6 Responses to “Baby round round (en)”

  1. Honorable Mayor says:

    You now can comment without being logged in!

    • Innocent Citizen says:

      Is that true?

      • Honorable Mayor says:

        Yes it is. You don’t even have to put in an email. It would be nice (but not needed) if you provided your name, though.

        Ah, and one thing for the GRAVATAR user. Your Gravatar will only be displayed if you put in your email, because it is recognized via email.

  2. Gorbag says:

    Great work Nikolaus. :)

  3. canyonjumper says:

    Great work Nikolaus ;D Made me lol many times

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